I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
