You can't motorboat a personality
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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