just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
