I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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