Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize