hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize