omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
