So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
