im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
