I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
