STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize