he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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