it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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