so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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