I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize