found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
