Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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