apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
