just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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