his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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