I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
