thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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