Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
