fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
