Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize