You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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