you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
