can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
