Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
