I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
