the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
