Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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