I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
