Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
