No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
