At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
