I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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