I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
