plz talk dirty to me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
