the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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