The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
where are my eyebrows?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
