she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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