sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
