So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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