Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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