hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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