Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ketchup is God's man juice
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
