Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want nice things and good sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
