Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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