I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
