Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
