i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Small penises have feelings too.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
