as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
