just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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