I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
