Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize