Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize